It's a double edged sword:on the one hand,we have anxiety that tthe thing we're jumping into won't work out well,and on the other hand,we fear we might be giving up someing that would have been smart to stick with.These two anxieties gang up on us and make it difficult to make a decision.But the truth is that fear,anxiety,and nervousness are a fundamental aspect of life.We all experience these emotions when considering new paths,because we can't be sure how things will turn out.Risks are scary,no matter that.
焦虑一把双刃剑,一方面,我们担心我们即将接触的这个新事物不会带来好的结果,另一方面,担心我们可能会放弃一些本该坚持的东西,这两种焦虑交织在一起使我们难以做出决定。实际上,焦虑、恐惧和紧张都是生活的基本元素,我们在考虑新的道路时总会经历这些情绪。当我们不能确定事情的结果,无论怎样,风险带来的不确定性都是可怕的。
We’re nervous to reveal ourselves, to put ourselves out there, to be exposed. Our minds, in an effort to protect us, imagine all the horrible possibilities that could result from a new situation. This response is a useful tool, one that helps us make good life choices. However, when we let fear control our decisions, we can miss out on massive opportunities, growth, and potential happiness. This is why it’s crucial that we learn how to deal with our anxiety in healthy ways so we can move forward and build the life that we deserve.
我们害怕揭露自己,我们的大脑为了保护我们,能想到所有可能发生的可怕结果,这种反应是一种有用的工具,它可以帮助我们做出正确的人生选择。然而,当我们被恐惧控制时,我们的决定可能会使我们错过很多机会、错过成长以及潜在的幸福。这就是为什么我们必须学会如何以健康的方式处理我们的焦虑,这样我们才能向前迈进 构建我们应有的生活。
1. 承认焦虑的存在
he first way we can begin to deal with our anxiety is to acknowledge it. When we don’t acknowledge our fear, it’s easy to let it control us. That’s why it’s so important to reflect on why you are hesitant to begin your new venture. Are you really holding back due to carefully considered, logical reasons? Or are you just experiencing the natural fear of starting something new? Without introspection, fear runs rampant. But once the anxiety is acknowledged, you can begin to defuse it with logical and emotional arguments.
我们开始处理焦虑的第一种方式,就是承认它。当我们不承认自己的恐惧时,就很容易受其控制,好好思考一下自己,为何在开始新的冒险时是犹豫不决的,这对于开始下一段新旅程,你真的是因为深思熟虑或者客观原因而退缩吗?或者说你只是在经历着面临新事物时自然产生的恐惧呢?如果我们不自省,那么恐惧就会泛滥,一旦焦虑被认定,你可以进行逻辑和情感上的辩驳来化解焦虑。
2. 接受失败的可能性
Next, accept the possibility of failure. Once you’ve acknowledged your anxiety about starting something new, there are many different ways to deal with it. One powerful way to ease your fears is to radically embrace your anxiety. Get familiar with the feeling of being afraid, and embrace it! It’s there to protect you, but it doesn’t have to control you. In fact, go ahead and accept that failure is possible. Even plan on doing it wrong first. Plan for your first attempt to totally blow up in your face. Plan that you may not have all the answers, that you might not be perfectly prepared. Failure does not make you any less worthy of trying, and it doesn’t mean that you should give up. It’s simply a redirection to help you find the correct path. By giving yourself the freedom to fail, it will make starting much less daunting.
一旦承认了自己对于新事物的焦虑,那么也就相应的会有许多不同的方法来缓解你的恐惧,其中的一种有效方式就是彻底拥抱你的焦虑,熟悉令人害怕的感觉,大胆拥抱它,因为欣然地接受失败也是一种选择。我们甚至可以假定一些失败的结果,准备好经历“大失败”,假设你没有万全之策,那么每一次失败都赋予下一次的尝试更大的价值,失败也并不意味着你应该放弃尝试,只是帮你找到正确路径的简单多重定向操作,允许自己失败会使我们不再畏惧开始。
And remember, you wouldn’t be nervous about starting something new if you didn’t really care about it. Being afraid is often an indication that the thing you’re afraid of is truly important. If you care so much about something, then isn’t that a good sign that you should probably do it? It may be a big undertaking, but it’s going to force you to grow and change and put in a lot of effort – and that’s exciting!
记住,你之所以对开始新事物感到紧张,是因为你很在意这件事,而害怕往往表明你所害怕的东西对你来说很重要,既然你对某件事这么在意,这不就是一个你应该行动的好迹象吗?这可能是一项艰巨的任务,但它将促进你成长和改变,并使你付出大量努力,这是十分令人兴奋的。
3. 不要追求成功,要追求学习
Don't pursue success pursue learning.Another way to reduce anxiety is to fundamentally orient your life around learning,instead of achievement.Rather than hoping to succeed at something new,start your venture out of a desire to learn.Then,no matter what happens even if you fail you will learn something from the experince.When you shift your core values away from badges of success and to ward a learning mindset,it makes trying new things much less intimidating.Your ultimate goal is simply to learn.
另一个减少焦虑的方法,是从根本上把你的生活定位在学习上,而不是取得光辉的成就,不要总希望在新事物上取得成功,要出于对学习的渴望而开始尝试一件新事物。然后,无论发生什么,即使你失败了,你都会从这些经历中学到一些东西,当你将自己的核心价值观念从取得成功转移到学习的心态时,尝试新事物就不那么令人生畏。你的最终目标只是学习,
So whether you fail or succeed, you will certainly learn things that will help you in your next endeavor. This mindset is also helpful since you’re more likely to continue trying new things throughout your life because you’re not interested in staying stagnant. Rather, you’re interested in continual growth, which requires stepping outside of your comfort zone regularly.
所以无论你失败还是成功,你一定会学到对你下一段旅程有帮助的东西,这种心态也很有帮助,能使你在生活中不断尝试新事物。因为你不想停滞不前 原地踏步。相反,你想要不断进步,这就需要你经常走出自己的舒适区。
4. 停止压制焦虑
Another useful tactic to reduce your fear is to stop trying to smother it, and instead replace it with something else that’s more powerful. In other words, replace your anxiety with something else. Think about your reasons for wanting to start something new in the first place: Why do you want to start that new job? Why do you want to start that new relationship? Why do you want to start that new YouTube channel? Why do you want to start that new Esty store? Come up with a long list of reasons that excite you about starting your new venture, reasons that drew you to that course of action in the first place, and write them all down. This exercise helps you actually replace your anxiety with excitement. Instead of focusing on negative outcomes that might happen if you start, you’ll focus on all the great things that might happen if you do.
另一种减少恐惧的有用策略,就是停止压制它的试图,试图转而用其他更强大的东西来替代压制焦虑的手段,好好思考,你想开始新工作的原因,你为什么想要开始新工作?你为什么想要开始新的恋情?你为什么想看那个新的油管频道?你为什么想创建新的易集商店?列出促使你开始新事业的原因,采取行动的原因,把它们写下来,能够真正的帮助你用兴奋代替焦虑,避免去关注那些可能发生的负面结果,而是尽力关注可能会发生的美好结局。
5. 培养“无知”
Finally, cultivate ignorance. This might seem counterintuitive but cultivating a certain amount of ignorance can help you stop worrying so much and help you take actions to move yourself forward. It’s common for people to do a lot of “research” before taking action. They spend hours in front of the computer learning about starting a business, but never do. Or they read lots of books on learning a skill, but never put it into practice. At a certain point, this becomes a crutch, allowing you to feel like you’re moving forward when you’re really just avoiding taking action. Too much research is detrimental because it keeps you from moving forward and because it causes you to easily become overwhelmed.
最后一点,培养无知,这似乎有悖常理,但培养一定程度的无知可以帮助你不再过度担忧,帮你采取行动不断前进。在采取行动之前,人们通常会做大量的研究,他们花几个小时在电脑前学习,但永远不会付出实际,或者他们读了很多书来学习一项技能,但从未将其付出实践,在某一点上这如同一根拐杖,你感觉自己在前进,但实际上你只是在避免采取行动。研究使你无法前进,更容易使你变得不知所措。
In Martin Scorsese’s “Masterclass,” he explains that cultivating ignorance is useful for beginning new things. He explains that if people understood all the things that go into making a feature film, they’d never do it. This applies to so many other things in life as well: everything involved in starting a business, all the things you’re going to have to do to make a relationship work, the myriad of steps it takes to move to a new town. Even though they are big tasks, they are doable, and people do them all the time.
马丁·斯克赛斯的《大师课程》中,他解释说培养无知对开始新事物是有用的,他解释说:“如果人们了解了拍电影的所有内容,他们就不会想着去拍电影。”这也是用于生活中许多其他事情包括一段成功的恋情所需的基本组件、开始一段新事业等都是艰巨的任务,还有迁移到新城镇所需的无数步骤,即使它们都是艰巨的任务,但他们确实是可行的,而且人们一直都在这么做着。
Instead of focusing on the big picture, just focus on the first steps you have to take. This will help ease feelings of overwhelm. Find what works for you, and then take immediate action. In many situations, there’s nothing worse than not starting at all. When you truly feel passionate about something, your passion will outweigh the potential negative outcomes. In that case, not starting at all is actually the worst possible scenario.
我们不要关注大局,我们要专注于采取行动的第一步,这将有助于减轻压抑感。找到适合自己的方法,然后立即采取行动,通常也没有什么比还没开始就结束来得更糟糕了。当你真正对某件事情充满激情的时候,你的激情将超过潜在的负面结果,在这种情况下 不开始行动实际上才是最糟糕的情况。
Finally, just remember that everyone feels fear, too. Everyone has to go through learning periods before they find what really works. All the most successful people have actually just failed more than regular people. They’ve failed so much, and not given up, that they’ve ended up learning more than most and using that knowledge to build something great. And the reality is, anxiety about starting something new never really goes away – that’s why we need courage. So if all else fails, just do it scared.
请记住,每个人都会感到恐惧,每个人都必须经历学习的阶段,才能找到真正有效的方法,最成功的人比普通人失败得更多,却还是没有放弃,最终他们比大多数人学到了更多,并利用这些学到的知识创造了伟大的成就。而如果我们对开始新事物产生焦虑并不能给我们带来任何愉快的结果。现实是,我们对开始新事物的焦虑永远不会凭空消失,这就是为什么我们需要勇气,所以即使一切都失败了,就更不用畏惧那些恐惧的伤疤,勇敢的去尝试吧!